Posts by Sail Away

26

Rational Buddhism?

by cappytan in

jw
friends

does a type of buddhism exist that doesn't include the metaphysical aspects of traditional buddhism?

.

Sail Away

The Interdependence Project of New York City offers online courses in secular Buddhism.

www.theidproject.org

26

Rational Buddhism?

by cappytan in

jw
friends

does a type of buddhism exist that doesn't include the metaphysical aspects of traditional buddhism?

.

The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA USA teaches secular Buddhism. Its roots are in Theraveda Buddhism, but the teachers at IMS focus on Vipassana (insight) and Metta (loving kindness) meditation practices and do not identify with any particular Buddhist lineage.

Secular Western Buddhist Vipassana teachings are offered freely at www.dharmaseed.org

Jack Kornfield is an IMS meditation teacher. For those interested in Buddhist psychology, his book entitled, The Wise Heart, A guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology is a must read.

29

I need your advice

by cookiemaster in

i need some advice.

actually my friend needs some advice.

a few years ago i moved about 50 km (30 miles) away from the nearest congo and have since tried to live a normal life.

Sail Away

Can your friend play the stress/anxiety/depression card? That's been working for me for nearly four years. I stalled the first three attempts to meet with my two-elder JW hit squad. They just showed up at my door at random times when the weather was bad, so I stepped out on the porch to chat ever so briefly with them about their families, etc. I haven't heard from them since they dropped off my copy of the RNWT. The last time they were working the street I was home, and no one came to my door. Don't give them any ammunition. If you don't meet with them, the next move could be an "invitation" to a JC. Delay the meeting and don't talk about anything of substance. KISS.

30

Introducing myself

by maksutov in

my name is russ, i'm 40 years old, from the uk, and i left the jws nearly 5 years ago.

i've been a member of the yuku board throughout that time, so there are probably some on here who know me already.

there seems to be more activity over here at the moment, so i thought i'd pop in and say hi.i was raised as a jw, started questioning it when i was 16, but there was no internet back then (well, no www anyway) so i got sucked right in and got baptized when i was 18. auxiliary pioneered on and off for a couple of years, then became a ministerial servant.

Sail Away

Maksutov
Doubts came back again, and I stepped down again. Got really depressed and tried very hard to re-convince myself that it was "the truth", without much success. Eventually admitted to myself that I no longer believed, and felt the weight lift off my shoulders - no more depression (I was "cured by Satan" according to my dad). Stopped going to meetings in 2010, and started reading apostate stuff. Now I'm a sceptic, atheist, humanist, human being.

Welcome, Russ! Nice to see you over here! It's amazing how lifelong depression can lift once we accept what we truly believe and act on it!

I like your description of yourself. The Borg strips many of their humanity, turning them into corporate drones. The kind-hearted ones seem to escape. I think with you as a Dad, your daughter will be just fine. Once I finally woke up, both of my kids told me that they knew everything I had ever done was out of love. Your daughter knows that too.

24

No... I wasn't mind controlled

by Zoos in

thou shalt not stay at a hotel that is not on the rooming list.

work prevented me from attending our assigned district (regional) convention so i arranged my schedule to attend in a different city/weekend.

i know that's not a problem, brothers and sisters do it all the time.

Sail Away

GrreatTeacher, the stated reasoning behind the pack your own lunch directive was simplification. Eliminating food service would allow "the friends" to enjoy the full program uninterrupted. Also, we were told to pack simple, light lunches, so that we would have just what we liked and needed to be fully alert for the afternoon program.

There was a lot of emphasis on staying on the premises for lunch. We were supposed to ''enjoy fellowship with our brothers" by having our lunch in our seats at the DC or in the lunch room at the CA or SAD rather than going out to eat.

We were even counselled not to purchase food from vendors on the premises, which made absolutely no sense given their stated reasoning. I believed at the time it was because too many were leaving the premises and returning late for the program.

As a mom with two children, it was a real hardship to pack lunches for multiple days and store them in a cooler in the car. By the last day of the DC, everything was a warm soggy mess. Shopping for and packing lunches was the last thing I wanted to do in addition to all the necessary chores to get there on time properly dressed with fully stocked book bags, but alas, I was the good dub. I even felt guilty when I bought a cup of coffee from an on-site vendor just so I could stay awake for the afternoon session. Sigh.

I had my first panic attack at a DC. Enough said.

24

No... I wasn't mind controlled

by Zoos in

thou shalt not stay at a hotel that is not on the rooming list.

work prevented me from attending our assigned district (regional) convention so i arranged my schedule to attend in a different city/weekend.

i know that's not a problem, brothers and sisters do it all the time.

Sail Away

jhine, this is no joke. The last hotel on the recommended lodging list that I stayed in was a hell hole, I was afraid for my safety, and my locked car was broken into and robbed.

The list would be posted on the "information board" (horrors if you said bulletin board). We would have to stand in line at the end of the meeting and copy down hotel names and phone numbers. No one was allowed to make a copy of the list. Then you couldn't call until after ten the next morning, and often had to speak to the person in charge of reserved blocks of rooms. The phone number was often busy, and by the time you got through the rooms were all gone. Then you had to wait for the next list to be posted.

I had a UBM and had to manage driving two young children to distant rooms, often an hour away. The rooms were no cheaper. Back in the day we had to send a deposit check in the mail. Now I understand there is a special website set up for reserving recommended rooms at the JW rate which is often not a bargain rate at all. It's all about the organization making money off the rank and file. Somehow all the elders families that I knew stayed in the nicest, closest rooms on the list.

Mind controlled much? Absolutely!

15

Have JW relatives disinherited you? (especially Canadian)

by berrygerry in

interesting court case whereby the entire will was declared void because the father was racist.. would that not also apply to jw's who disinherit their non-jw family?.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/29/judge-rejects-ontario-mans-racist-will-that-disinherited-daughter-for-having-bastard-white-son/.

Sail Away

My husband has been expressly written out of his parents' will. He is an only child. He faded over 35 years ago, but is not DF'd. The estate is probably worth well over one million dollars, and the WT takes all. My in-laws have made it very clear that they "do not help adult children financially." Period. End of discussion.

13

No Natural Affection

by Sail Away in

do you remember how the wt society likes to quote the scriptures that say "the love of the greater number will cool off" in "the last days" and men will have "no natural affection"?

they applied this to "worldly people".

even before my exit i, used to think that scripture applied to members of the "christian congregation" too.. i haven't written to my jw mil in about a year and a half.

Sail Away

freein2004
Wow! sail Away, that is tough. I applaud your husband for continuing to make contact. Even though it probably will never change anything I do believe it is something he will never regret. Peace to you all and congrats on your grand baby.

Thank you, freein2004! We are beyond the moon excited about our new grandson! My husband and I both agree that we have the power to not allow other people's thoughts and behaviors to change who we are. It's a high price to pay in a family dynamic like this, but as you say, he will have no regrets later.

13

No Natural Affection

by Sail Away in

do you remember how the wt society likes to quote the scriptures that say "the love of the greater number will cool off" in "the last days" and men will have "no natural affection"?

they applied this to "worldly people".

even before my exit i, used to think that scripture applied to members of the "christian congregation" too.. i haven't written to my jw mil in about a year and a half.

Sail Away

flipper
SAIL AWAY- I feel for you and your husband. I have observed in the 11 years that I've been out of the JW's that my staunch JW extended family gets colder and more inhumane as each year passes. Unfortunately they're trained by the WT Society and mind controlled and conditioned to be this way.
My 87 yr.old JW mom is NOT this way as she and I are really close- almost a year ago my elder 89 yr.old dad warehoused her into an assisted living facility instead of letting her have in-home care which he most definitely could afford to do if he wanted to. But I believe in the 67 years of marriage my dad is punishing my mom for always having an independent mind even as a JW questioning his decisions at times. Now in HIS mind he doesn't have to hear it everyday. The man is disgusting in my view. He told my older JW sister that he finds his own gay grandson's homosexuality " sickening " and refused to see my non-Witness nephew and his partner. Then my older sister REPEATED what my dad said to her son, my nephew.
I find my JW's family behavior barbaric and disgusting, and so does my mom. Then I have 2 adult JW daughters who are 28 yrs.old and 26 yrs.old , pioneers . who ave shunned me and my non-JW son ( aged 29 ) for 11 years now. I call just to say hello, and my daughters NEVER return my phone calls. This is the result we get when an unethical, corrupt, mind control cult steals the minds of our loved ones and family. It's hard not to take it personally because we are human- but the lion's share of the blame I put on the shoulders of WT Society leaders who create these inhumane monsters of human beings. WT leaders skate away not taking ANY responsibility for these monsters that they've created. Hopefully WT leaders will pay for their crimes against families and humanity someday. One can only hope. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Mr. Flipper, I'm so very sorry for your pain. I don't think I could bare such a long and deep estrangement from my children. You are right, the behaviors you describe in your father are all about mind control, conditioning and programming. I do think a certain hardening of the heart is required to shun family. I'm not that person. I refused to shun my son. It freed me from my lifetime of servitude at age 52.

It sounds like your mom is a love. I'm sure she treasures you now more than ever. My mom is in a nursing home too. She has late-stage Lewy Body Dementia and can no longer live independently. She no longer knows me by name, but I am able to comfort and calm her when she is agitated. There is a familiarity that she still understands.

Watching our parents grow old and die is something we were simply not prepared for in JWland. Treasure the moments you have with your mom, and please don't give up hope for your daughters either. My family NEVER expected me to leave. I was an all-in JW for 42 years. One of the strongest and most cruel hooks they have to keep people in is the belief that the members still in must remain loyal if they ever want to see their family member return and survive Armageddon. That is what kept me in for so long.

13

No Natural Affection

by Sail Away in

do you remember how the wt society likes to quote the scriptures that say "the love of the greater number will cool off" in "the last days" and men will have "no natural affection"?

they applied this to "worldly people".

even before my exit i, used to think that scripture applied to members of the "christian congregation" too.. i haven't written to my jw mil in about a year and a half.

Sail Away

Village Idiot
Sail Away, do you plan to be by their deathbed in the near future? Pardon me if I sound cruel but if you do you should tell them exactly how you feel.

Village, my husband fully expects that he will not be notified if either of his parents are on their deathbed. He is convinced that he will not hear a word until after they have died and are buried. His father made it very clear that "communication is nice, but not necessary", "everything is all set" and "the brothers will handle everything." Essentially, the message is don't call us and we won't call you. My husband has been written out of the will since he faded. The estate is considerable, and the WT takes all.

My husband chooses to keep in touch periodically, but neither one of us have any intention of ever seeing them in person again. The last visit was unbearable.

If I could tell them how I think, I would, but it is not my call. It's my husband's family.